Cathy and Darrin’s friendship reunited and blossomed into a loving partnership at Garth Homer Society—bringing new joy and meaning to their lives.
It was a tour of Garth Homer Society’s (GHS) Community Access Team (CAT) program in 2019 that literally stopped Cathy in her tracks when she laid eyes on a familiar face. Looking for a new day program after moving back to Victoria, Cathy hadn’t expected that the tour would unlock a long-lost relationship that would blossom into a loving commitment that continues today. “Nobody expected Cathy would find Darrin, an old flame, at Garth Homer,” explains Kevin Steeple, GHS’s executive director of client services.
The two had gone their separate ways, with Darrin attending different Victoria-area programs and Cathy relocating. “A good number of years had passed since they’d seen each other but the re-connection was instant,” recalls Steeple. “They hugged and it was like a magical moment; like finding a lost soulmate. It was so instantaneous that CAT staff had to explain to the affectionate pair to keep interactions professional while in the program.” chuckles Steeple.
Unfortunately, within three years of their 2019 reunion, Darrin began to show significant signs of dementia, a common illness in people with Down Syndrome, which prompted his transition to the Pathways program. This meant a separation from Cathy who remained part of the CAT cohort. Knowing how important Cathy and Darrin’s relationship is to their overall wellbeing, GHS staff supported the idea of a commitment ceremony to ease both into their new circumstances which was held in the GHS auditorium in June 2022. “There’s something deeply rooted in there in terms of their affection and love for one another,” says Roslyn Waggstaff, Pathways team coordinator. “They bring out the best in each other.”
After Cathy’s own diagnosis of dementia, she transitioned to Pathways as well. She’s enthusiastic about sharing pictures of their ceremony with her Pathways friends. “She likes to show us the dress she was wearing, and she just looks so beautiful,” says Waggstaff.
Pathways staff nurture Cathy and Darrin’s connection by carving out the first ten minutes of each day for them to sit and talk, though those conversations have grown shorter as Darrin’s world shrinks. “Darren is at the stage in his life now where he would be happy just colouring all day long… getting him up and moving is increasingly challenging,” she explains. Cathy motivates Darrin to join Pathways’ Thursday dance party as her partner. “Music is such a visceral thing,” says Waggstaff. “Even if you can’t access memories anymore, you still recall feelings.”
Wagstaff believes comfort and trust will survive what dementia takes: “For Cathy and Darrin, they are grounded by their love and facing those days, and their new beginnings together”.
